Things to do in Brno, Czech Republic.
Brno is often overlooked by tourists primarily drawn by Prague’s raison d’être architecture and vibrant nightlife. If you enjoy contributing to the Disneyfication of European capital cities, Prague (Praha) may be for you. Brno, however, is defiantly echt.
There is fierce competition between both cities – Prague is in the Bohemia region and Brno is in the Moravia region – with almost all of the jokes told at Brno’s expense. To humor any Pragers reading this, I’ll retell some of the jokes in a Woody Allen-esque bent:
‘You know, Brno is the sharp turn on the road between Bratislava and Prague.’
‘You know, Brno is the only joke one can live in.’
‘People from Brno complain that Pragers are snobby, have bad wine, and the city is like a Bohemian-Disney fairground. How do Prague’s respond? They don’t, it’s not worth their time because they never think about Brno.’
‘A Brno guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, my Prague brother’s crazy! He thinks he’s a chicken!” And the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” And the Brno guy says, “I would, but—I need the eggs.”
The truth of the matter is that before the advent of the year-round, discount-airline flights, Prague was unrivaled as the city jewel in the crown of the Czech Republic. But nowadays, I’d much rather spend a weekend in Brno, where there are far fewer tourists, than have to [expletive] meander through the droves of [expletive] tourists when I just want to [expletive] pop out for dinner when leaving my apartment on Dlouha street in Prague 1.
Plus, when you are in Brno, you have an accessible and excellent public transport corridor to Mikulov and Vienna. And, yes, you must visit both!
What to see in Brno?
The main focal point of the city is Brno’s ‘Freedom Square’ (Náměstí Svobody). It was heavily bombed in WWII, but many of the original buildings were restored after the Russians were given the capitalist boot proceeding the 1989 Velvet Revolution. Today, Brno seems more like a grand suburb of Vienna – only the phallus-shaped black clock appears out of place, but Brno is a quirky student town and is perpetually reinventing itself.
Other things to do in Brno, include:
- Špilberk Castle. Take a leisurely walk up to the 13th century castle, to admire views of the city and beyond. On a clear day, you can even see the Carpathian ‘Palava’ hill from the castle’s southern viewpoint. If you happen to be in the city for New Year’s Eve, you can watch the reckless fireworks display exploding from the Freedom Square. The castle houses a museum – guided tours are recommended – and you can learn, among other things, how the castle was used as a prison and also that Napoleon Bonaparte hung out here a couple of times on his doomed-from-the-start military assault on what is now modern-day Russia. The castle’s website: https://www.muzeumbrna.cz/hrad-spilberk/
- Brno Reservoir. From the town center, you can reach the Brno dam and (Prigl in Brno dialect) reservoir by taking tram (šalina’ in Brno dialect) lines 1, 3, or 11. It’s a highly recommended day trip on a super-hot day. If you have the energy, you can walk around the reservoir to Veveří Castle, where there are guided tours of the 13th-century castle – a castle occupied by the Germans from 1943 to 1945, with medieval-style rooms. The locals do have an encouraged preference for nude bathing at the reservoir, so non-nudist family visitors please be warned in advance.
- Starobrno Brewery. For beer devotees, a 15-minute saunter down to the Starobrno Brewery (Hlinky 160, Staré Brno.) is well-worth an excursion. For years, Starobrno beer was considered a vulgar-tasting liquid, only resembling beer. Not any more. Its Medium 11-degree-beer, unpasteurized light lager, is characterized by rich foam, an extremely delicious, full, delicate hop flavor and perfect sharpness. It’s no Budweiser Budvar or Pilsner Urquell, but it is still an excellent beer and the cuisine at the nearby brewery restaurant (Mendlovo náměstí 158, Brno-střed.) compliments its taste notes. Starobrno Brewery’s restaurant website: https://www.pivovarska-starobrno.cz/
- Botanical Garden of the Faculty of Science – Masaryk University. The center of Brno is relatively small – Brno is often referred to as being the ‘biggest village in the Czech Republic’ and you can walk to most attractions by simply starting out from Freedom Square. The botanical gardens (Kotlářská 2, Brno-střed.) is “a serene escape showcasing diverse plant life from around the world.” And, I have to agree. The cactus exhibits were the highlight of my visit. Website: https://www.sci.muni.cz/bot_zahr/index.php/en-gb/
- Bunker 10-Z. Ever wondered what life for the average Czechoslovak person living under the depressing-reality of communism was like? 10-Z Bunker is a nuclear fallout shelter from the Cold War era, located in the very center of Brno. It’s a fascinating visit for history lovers and you can also pay to spend the night there if history trumps over comfort for you. Website: https://10-z.cz/
There are many other attractions to see and visit in Brno. Architecture buffs may find themselves wowed by the pioneering work of modern 20th century residential architecture of Villa Tugendhat – an embodiment of innovative spatial and aesthetic concepts. But when I visited, I felt a bit like a male Philomena Cunk, wondering what all the fuss was about. Still, it is one of the most popular attractions to visit in Brno.
My advice, though, is simply to walk around the historical center of Brno, taking in the characteristics of the locals, admiring the Cathedral of St. Peter and Paul, Saint James’ church, and gasping in disbelief at the architectural prowess of this Moravian city of intense culture. Incidentally, In the center of Freedom Square, if you look very closely, you can see the outline of the former Church of St Nicholas – destroyed by the allies in WWII – and now outlined by a brass edge laid flush.
Warning! There is a ghetto in Brno, predominantly in the Bratislavská and Cejl street sections of the city. Visit at your own peril and expect to witness prostitution, drug abuse, decrepit buildings, trash-lined streets, and the real possibility of being mugged. My advice is to avoid this area (especially after the sun has gone down) unless you are a masochist pain junky. When you are inevitably a victim of crime in these neighborhoods, expect a heavy dose of schadenfreude from most passers by from within the neighborhood, and the possibility of further criminal attempts.
The Brno crocodile/dragon.
Local lore has it that when Brno was a popular marketplace, it was also home to a dragon that ravished the city, killing people and livestock. Dragons do manifest as malevolent entities throughout history – during the Middle Ages, dragons more often figured in accounts about the lives of saints and religious figures than stories of heists and adventures. Saint George famously slayed the dragon, and there are modern-day dragons (The Komodo dragon – Varanus komodoensis) that routinely attack animals, farmers, and Instagram Infuencers on the Indonesian islands of Komodo.
The “dragon” hanging inside the Brno Old Town Hall entrance is a taxidermied Nile crocodile that arrived in the city as a diplomatic gift during the 16th century, and it is highly unlikely that such a species would find its way to Central Europe and still have the voracious appetite to carry out a reptilian serial-killer spree. Still, from a marketing point perspective, the obviously made-up story is impressive and impactful even to this day.
Where to eat and drink in Brno?
There are (for want of a better word) a plethora of kebab stores in Brno – I would avoid all of them. The health/hygiene of the stores is questionable and, call me stickler, but repeatedly consuming mystery meat doesn’t feature high on my future list of life achievements. If you are craving authentic kebab, I would recommend taking the train to Vienna if you don’t want to or can’t afford a trip to the Middle East or Central Asia.
Where Brno does excel in cuisine is in its rich history of acquiring ingredients and meals from its many invaders and transforming them into its own. Take Goulash as a fine example: in Hungary, Goulash is consumed as a soup, but in Brno (and in other parts of the Czech Republic) it is consumed as an indulgently heavy sauce to provide an existential platform for the bread or potato dumplings and meat portion.
There are many places in Brno where you can experience Moravian cuisine, and my favorites are the Starobrno Brewery (already mentioned) and Potrefená Husa, on Starobrněnská 334/3, Brno-střed. Website: https://staropramen.cz/hospody/brno-zelny-trh If you wish to experience real authentic Moravian cuisine, though, you will need to visit Kyjov – a small town in the Hodonín District, in the South Moravian Region of the Czech Republic.
The best burger in Brno.
It usually annoys me when people throw around superlative statements. It appears that every burger place in Brno enjoys “Best Burger” online accolade status. Yeah, right. The best burger in Brno (I’m aware of the hypocrisy of my superlative statement) can be found at the Úvozna hamburger restaurant at Úvoz 39, Brno-střed. The burgers are consistently excellent, cooked to order, and when you take that first bite, it’s God speaking to you through food. Website: https://www.uvozna.cz/
The best bar in Brno.
Brno, as I mentioned, is a student city, and there are more bars than traffic lights. By all means, go visit the student bars if you are of a similar age as its clientele. But if you want the real-deal Brno bar experience, it has to be Bar, Který Neexistuje (‘the bar that doesn’t exist’ is the exact translation). It has a speekeasy, art nouveau feel, and serves splendid cocktails complimented by optional splendid sliders. It’s not cheap, but why scrimp on a quality experience? Dvořákova 1, Brno-střed. Website: https://www.barkteryneexistuje.cz/bar
Where to stay in Brno?
Accommodation in Brno is surprisingly expensive – more so than in Prague, where there are so many more accommodation options.
When I stay the night or two in a hotel in Brno, I either opt for the affordable Hotel Palacky, or I splurge on the Hotel Continental.
The Hotel Palacky (Kolejní, Brno-Královo Pole.) is located at the end (Technologický Park tram stop) of the number 12 tram, where a very comfy single room with ensuite and WIFI will set you back around 1,300 CZK – this includes city tax and a very average breakfast. The room and the hotel staff are the stand-outs about this hotel. It’s located on the second floor of a university student accommodation block, which may or may not be appealing to you. Website: https://www.hotel-palacky.cz/ Another advantage of staying here is that you pay upon arrival – if your plans change, please contact the (English-speaking) receptionists in advance and they will cancel the booking for you without any charge.
The Hotel Continental (Kounicova 680/6, Brno-střed-Veveří.) is a stone’s throw from Moravské náměstí, which is a subsequent 5-minute walk to Freedom Square. The rooms are super-comfy – they have a TV in the bathroom, facing the bath. And, the breakfast buffet could feed a famished Mongol army. Website: https://www.continentalbrno.cz/en
Additional things to do in Brno.
There are a lot of concerts and festivals in and around Brno, and there is also a lot of quality street art.
Gregor Mendel and his Principals of Inheritance, tweaked primarily while he was a botanist, teacher, and Augustinian prelate at the Augustinian Monastery of St. Thomas in Brno (steps away from where the Starobrno Brewery is now located) was the first person to lay the mathematical foundation of the science of genetics, in what came to be called Mendelism. Interestingly, while Mendel was discovering the evolution of pea plants, Charles Darwin and his beard was carrying out similar experiments at the time – both oblivious to each other’s endeavors.
It’s possible to take a tour around the abbey and the monastery, and to walk through the garden where Gregor Mendel conducted his experiments.
Website: https://www.opatstvibrno.cz/
Some of the student graffiti on the disused phone booths in the city prominently note images of peas. This one doesn’t, but I love it any way:
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was also a visiter to the city, staying on two occasions to escape an epidemic of chickenpox that had broken out in Vienna. On the subject of classical music, it is well worth attending a performance by The Brno Philharmonic orchestra (Filharmonie Brno) that is based in Brno. Its principal concert venue in Brno is the Besední dům, and the orchestra also performs regularly in the Janáček Opera House in Brno.
My favorite Brno-based band is Ty Syčáci. Ever since I saw them at the The Mezi Ploty (Between The Fences) festival, I became a forever-fan of their music and performances. If you want to experience a hard-nut-to-crack genre of music, this band will convert you with their elements of jazz, Moravian folklore, rock, and world music. They often headline in small clubs in Brno and its surroundings. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TySycaci/
Conclusion.
The vast majority of tourists visiting the Czech Republic opt to visit Prague, and a few bravely venture out to view the Bone Church at Kutná Hora and to visit the overcrowded (but eye-watering) Český Krumlov. Very few tourists venture all the way to Brno. The ones who do, are often amazed at the sheer indulgence of breathtaking architecture, student cafes, fine cuisine, and a notable presence of few other tourists.
My advice: visit Brno before it falls prey to becoming the next cool spot to visit.
Have a wonderful time on your first trip to Brno!
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